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Being the hygienic and deliciously smelling man that I am, I was just about to climb into the shower when I noticed that there wasn't any shower gel left in the bottle.
Now, I'm an easy going fella, but when there's no way to turn stinky Wild into mmm-sniff-fresh Wild then I get a little perturbed.
I searched high and low all over the rooms of FJ Towers trying to find some substance that could de-stink me. Stopping just short of the clothes washing liquid I came across a bottle of Lemon handwash in one of the toilets.
"Hmm," I mused. "I wonder..."
And so it was that I showered with Lemon-scented handwash and the internal dialogue started up:
Irrational Wild (IW) - I'm a bit worried about this.
Rational Wild (RW) - listen, its exactly the same stuff, just marketed differently. Its smells lemony - its nice!
IW - But... its designed for hands!
RW - And.....?
IW - ..and I'm a bit scared about the fact that I've got something designed for hands down my arse crack instead.
RW - ...
IW - Just think about it! It can't be right!
RW - Oh my god. You're serious.
IW - Damn right. What if I grow a hand down there?
RW - WHAT?!!
IW - It *might* happen.
RW - You're seriously weird.
IW - Mind you, it would make having a poo easier...
RW - I'm not talking to you anymore. You scare me.
IW - ...it'd be one hell of a superpower... |
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Date posted: 25 Sep, 2004 16:26 by Taz
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Actually that wasn't an internal dialogue. We could all hear you from the Kitchen...
...where we were having sneaky bacon butties without you.
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Date posted: 25 Sep, 2004 17:21 by BM
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Yeah, you spaz. And you can't borrow my Pantene Pro-V, before you ask.
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Date posted: 26 Sep, 2004 14:53 by Mr Nil
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~lmao~
Though I'm not sure I would have used anything I found in a toilet!
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Date posted: 26 Sep, 2004 18:27 by 'Dude'
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Would it have a similar mutational effect if you coated your face with KY jelly?
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Date posted: 27 Sep, 2004 08:45 by FFS
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You're gonna get thrush, you're gonna get thrush
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Date posted: 27 Sep, 2004 09:14 by Reg
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I prefer Irrational Wild. He makes much more sense.
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Date posted: 27 Sep, 2004 10:39 by bearmaster
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me too - listen to him
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