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Just as I was stepping off the bus, the driver chirps up with this pearl of wisdom:
"No wonder the Titanic sank mate, if they were all as miserable as you lot!"
My snappy response was Hmmm.
Please help me come up with some better replies in the comments box for the next time I see him. |
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 09:30 by hitler
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Bei wem kann ich mich beschweren?
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 09:40 by Reg
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Babelfish translates that as: "With whom can I weight?"
Not quite as snappy as I was looking for, but thanks.
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 09:41 by Wild
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"shut up you fat fuck?"
always works for me.
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 09:45 by Reg
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That's more like it. He was pretty huge too. Maybe it should have gone: Yeah, well no wonder they make buses so big, so they can fit fat fucks like you in, eh?
My brain really wasn't in gear at the time. Some would argue that it never is.
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 10:00 by BM
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Enojoy your job, you fucking scum.
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 10:32 by FM
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You should have retorted, "Yeah but you've gone down with more Seamen."
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 10:41 by Reg
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Nice, I like that. Keep them coming.
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 10:50 by toby
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"Well if you were aboard, I'd have chosen to dive into the icy Atlantic."
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 11:06 by FM
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Fuck off you workshy fop, sat there with a steering wheel in your hand all day, giving it the 'holier than thou' to all the 'happy' fuckers you move around from place to place. Arrrgh, fuck you and your bus. I've got a real job to think about and real people to talk to, Billy fucking bus-driving no mates. *muted* TOSSER.
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 11:12 by Dr.P
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Without a word, withdraw a pencil from your top pocket, and stab him in the eye (right one preferably).
Usually gets the point across.
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 11:17 by Reg
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I meant to say and do all of these. I just wasn't on the ball.
Next time, he's going to get it.
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 11:19 by toby
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Of course you could just point out that the Titanic hit an iceberg, an object that isn't controlled by the emotions of people in the near vicinity.
Then ask that if his point is true, how come he's letting you on his bus, lest your and the other passenger's emotional state should result in the bus hitting an iceberg.
Then tell him he smells like a pirate's crotch.
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 11:24 by FFS
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I'd hit him with this:
1. Of course they were fucking miserable. Wouldn't you be if you knew you were going drown / freeze to death.
2. Why would the titanic sink just because people were miserable. Thats a bollocks, nonsense load of arse if ever i've heard it
and
3. I'm Reg! You've obviously never heard of me before. I invented miserable long before the titanic sank.
So why don't you keep your shit twaty comments to yourself you fat fucking nonce.
Ahhhhhhhh
I love abuse
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 11:26 by BM
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Turn slowly, look at the berk slowly and say in your most sneering voice "But you're a..........bus driver"
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 11:29 by FM
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"My prize wombat fell into the garden shredder, cock-nose." then start balling uncontrollably.
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 11:38 by Wild
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Tell him to Ice-bugger off.
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 11:50 by Reg
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I'm just going to print this out and hand it to him.
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 11:57 by BM
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Turn round flap you arms, and shriek at him like a pterodactyl...."ARK! ARK ARK ARK!"That should put pay to his glib remarks.
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 12:29 by BDM
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just do a spazz face at him and walk off the bus like you have a false leg.
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 12:41 by Pie
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I would tell him to "piss off" and then ask him why he didn't stop the bus yesterday when I was lying face down in the road.
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 12:54 by mutley
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"My Mum's just fucking died, cunt" usually shut's 'em up.
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 12:58 by poorusher
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"Cock off you stupid Wendle"
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 17:29 by Jake
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Call me an anarchist, but I'd be tempted to smile and cheer up a little. That's his point, after all, though of *course* he doesn't know how bad a day you've had.
And more important job? Well of course, if we're grading these things then there *are* more important/real jobs, but most of them aren't. Getting people from place to place or writing drivel for our (all) rubbish newspapers? No contest. GPfPtP or Tax Accountant?Admin assistant?Driving instructor?Employment consultant?
A dangerous game, that of relative-worth-of-jobs. Let's play it...
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Date posted: 30 Sep, 2004 17:49 by Wild
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let's not.
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Date posted: 01 Oct, 2004 09:08 by Reg
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Dear Jake,
I was reading a book the whole bus journey. I don't know how the bus driver equates reading with miserable.
Reg
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