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The Evilessness of Marketing posted by Wild on 08/01/2004 at 15:47 GMT (link)
So there we were, cute little Britain with our cups of tea and our rich tea biscuits and our own names for multinational confectionary.

The one day in 1990, some Brand Marketing bastard for Mars in an office somewhere (probably in a high-tech chrome space station armed with lasers and space dogs) decides that Britain is costing too much because we had Marathon bars as opposed to Snickers bars.

So he decides to change it to Snickers, just to make the Aryan race of confectionary perfect and whole.

For years the emotions that this provoked in the British people have only just been held in check by an elastoplast of national manners, despite the subsequent Opal Fruits/Starbursts debacle.

But all that has now changed. The straw has been placed and the camel's back has been well and truly broken. The wrath of a nation must awaken and destroy, maim, kill, pillage!

And the reason for this uprising? Mars Foods have brought out a new high energy bar. Its name: Snickers Marathon.

Are you deliberately mocking our nation? Are you trying to get yourself killed?

Cheers for the headsup, Snackspot.
 
Date posted: 08 Jan, 2004 16:05 by Karen  
That's so wrong.

My granny used to ask for knickers bars in shops.

Date posted: 08 Jan, 2004 16:11 by Wild  
ahahah! Good old grannies!

Date posted: 08 Jan, 2004 16:18 by Reg  
Opal Fruits - didn't they change then to Chimpy Chumpies?

Date posted: 08 Jan, 2004 16:29 by meesteryan  
and did you notice that on the website the "Contact" link is the only one that doesn't work? i was about to give them what for too!

Date posted: 08 Jan, 2004 16:33 by Wild  
Reg, what are you blathering on about? Opal fruits became Starbursts.

Ryan, good work that man.