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FJ Editors : Taz |
Poorusher was born between floors 4 and 5 of the now demolised Co-op in Pissington Underwood in 1898. His mother was an earthling, his father Glaxo Industries. A pygmy until his 9th birthday, he only acquired his stature of 8 foot 7 after being stretched repeatedly on a rack.
Affectionately known as poo, he can be found wandering parks at night, feeding on weevils, ermine and white harts washed down with Angostura bitters.
Poo has an unhealthy obsession with quagga's, so much so that their extinction could be solely attributed to him, although he is currently testing in the laboratory to try and rectify this, and reintroduce them to the forests of the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg.
His grandfather invented the exclamation mark, after years of development. Not surprisingly poo is obsessed with punctuation, especially semi-colon's.
He is a rampant carnivore and will only eat anything with a face, to quote him 'I only eat anything with a face'. He divides his time between protracted periods of immmobility and concentrating very hard on spherical objects (orbs, globes etc).
He regards his single most important achievement as breeding odd-toed ungulates (tapirs) with a sense of humour. However his acquiantences believe the pinnacle of his career was when he contracted lockjaw.
He was exiled to Mars for underhand chicanery and is tolerated and suffered by the rest of the FJ crew, except FFS who dotes on him like a pathetic sycophant.
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Back Trouble
It has been revealed tha an advertising campaign for MG cars in the 1970's was a direct cause of the financial problems suffered by its parent company British Leyland. The campaign which featured the slogan 'You can do it in an MG' resulted in crippling damages being paid out when owners who tried sued for medical compensation.
Unreliable Facts from The Brains Trust |
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Guy goes into the doctor's.
"Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside"
"How's that?"
"Don't you start"
- Tommy Cooper |
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| Men: Five-finger discount |
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DeathGob
