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The Summer Burn has started! Check your inbox now. |
FJ Editors : Taz |
Stuck in the furthest outpost of the Funjunkie empire, Taz was always set up to be the underdog of the team. Way back before the B-Team were drafted in, when Funjunkie was run by Wild (or "Bowner" as he was known before he had his name changed by deed poll), Reg and Dave Mash, Taz became everybody's fourth favourite Funjunkie Editor and quickly rose to fame through his unique blend of pointless crap and his one and only invention: Dehydrated Water.
Around the third quarter of 2003, sales of Dehydrated Water took a nosedive and threatened to bankrupt UK Funjunkie Enterprises, one of the 163 subsidiary companies of The World Funjunkie Corporation (TWFC). TWFC pulled the plug and shut down the Newcastle office in late September, and Taz was forced to relocate to Bristol. Soon after relocating, TWFC was hit with a tax bill the likes of which had never been seen before by any multinational corporation. Funjunkie baled out and was forced to sell up its massive stocks of freshwater Wombats. Taz was promoted and set to work on liquidating over three quarters of Funjunkie's subsidiary companies while Wild and Reg prepared to move Funjunkie's remaining assets to the last surviving tax haven, Mars.
Not long after, Funjunkie moved its whole operation to Mars and Taz continued commuting to Earth every Wednesday. Taz's favourite Earth haunt is the bar outside the Interplanetary terminal of Heathrow airport, and his favourite biscuits are Fig Rolls.
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Portugal Does Not Exist
Despite overwhelming political, literary and historical evidence to the contrary, the country Portugal does not exist. It is not so much a nation as a Spanish county in exile, whose strong regional accent has been mistaken for another language, causing the region's cultural annexing. Another clue can be found in its name: "Portugal" is Catalan for "talks like a duck."
A similar thing almost happened to Somerset in the 13th Century, back when morris dancing was still punishable by "a goode kickynge".
Unreliable Facts from The Brains Trust |
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"It's deja vu all over again"
- Al Gore |
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| Men: Beating the snot outta Rotney |
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DeathGob
