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Take a look at the little graphic there on the right. Looks shit doesn't it? Graphics as basic as they come. What is it? Some kind of Asteroids clone?
Yes it is, and don't be fooled by it's simplistic appearance. Neon is truly a work of genius. Give it a go... you're going to thank me for it.
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We like space shoot-em-ups here at Funjunkie Towers. In fact we like them so much, we've dedicated the whole downstairs eastern wing to a Space shoot-em-up arcade. Gone are the days of peacefull tea parties in the eastern wing. Now it's all beeps, blasts, kerpows and general screams of anguish as everyone fails to reach BeccaG's high scores... she's a bit of a Space Invaders demon.
You're going to like this next one... I guarantee it. But you might have to give up work for the rest of the day. Go on, it's Friday.
Gamma Bros is going to keep you out of mischief for a very long time.
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I bet you're wondering why we haven't posted any motorcross games over the last few weeks. It's a common question we get here at Funjunkie Towers, and the answer is simple... we save them all up for the end of July.
Why?
Why the hell not. It's our site and we'll make our own rules.
So the wait is over, get your helmet* on and saddle up. It's time for Motorcross Fever.
*No sniggering at the back!
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It has been a tad quiet, hasn't it? While I nip off and play Gunny Bunny, I'll leave you a (not too difficult) challenge - Base Jump for V!
There are free tickets for the V Festival being given away every day. Radiohead are on the main stage, and all you need is a box of wine per person (remember to remove the box first, and stash the silver bag up your jumper*) and some sunshine for a top day out.
* Watch where you stick the tap.
** Sorry, no thumbnails - Le PC et mort.
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Hello! I bet you lot thought we'd forgotten about you, well, never fear BeccaG is here and I have a fantastic shootem up to help you release all that pent-up aggression that has built up over the week.
To purge yourself of all that stress to you need to play Gunny Bunny and shot up the enemies of the bunnies.
Try it out...I've just had a good old fashion violence fest and I feel properly relaxed now and in need of a Pimms.
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It's good to have friends around who can point out all your failings in life. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but it always comes just that little bit too late.
"Ooh, you shouldn't have done that. You'll regret it."
Thanks mate. You could have mentioned it before instead of watching me make the biggest mishtak of my life. But then that's what friends are for: To watch you stumble through life's adventures and laugh when you fall flat on your face. It's reality. Deal with it.
With all that in mind, we thought we'd give you some advice that may or may not help you on life's journey... but chances are we're already too late. Ha ha!
For the birds: 10 types of men you need to avoid
And for the blokes: 10 types of women you need to avoid
Thanks to Michelle for those links. You've sent me loads over the past few weeks and I've stupidly never got around to posting them. Sorry.
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Oi, hasselhoff! What are you doing man?
You know that you’re a role model to us all at FJ Towers. If you think it’s OK to have problems standing due to booze, then we’ll all be having problems standing due to booze in a few hours!
Actually… carry on.
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Good morning kids, yet another fantastically sunny Friday has dawned upon us and the heat is rising.
If you haven't all melted to nothing over the past week then my advice is to stay inside so you don't get sunburnt and give your little sweaty gaming fingers a good exercise.
Groovy Glider, for all you grooving gliders out there.
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Deep in the Shadow Hills area of California, a serial killer is on the loose. Free from remorse and above the law, he wanders around his district preying on the weakest, the frailest and the slowest subjects who happen to cross his path.
We may never be able to stop him, even though hundreds (maybe even thousands) more will die, but at least we have the opportunity to see into the mind of such a killer.
What Jeff Killed... it might put you off your lunch.
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As temperatures soar into the unknown here* in the UK, isn't it time we started to do something about global warming?
Firstly, you could turn the oven off. Yes, that's right, I'm talking to you. You who left the oven on all night after cooking a pizza... Your kitchen is probably responsible for this heatwave.
Ultimately, the only way we're going to cool this place down is to move the Earth a bit further away from that great big burny thing. 93.2 million miles may seem like a lot, but it's going to take a bit more distance to give us any respite from that great orange ball of nuclear activity. Frankly it's a wonder it got past the EU regulations. Surely there should be a warning label or something?
Anyway, we can do something about it. Obviously not today, but tomorrow... well, tomorrow's always better than today, right? World Jump Day. Let's get this planet on a new orbit.
*The Funjunkie crew decided to take a few days off and visit Earth for a break from the dust storms.
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While PixelHugger spends the afternoon having reconstructive surgery done, following the pollitical faux-pas of dissing his fellow editors who may or may not have been at the pub, we should probably get on with some serious Friday style slurfing.
I know what you're thinking. What's the fucking point? The World Cup is over, Wimbledon was as dull as ever, and we're never going to win the cricket. What could possibly cheer me up?
How about living the Top Gear dream in your own office, by playing a game of football in cars! And you thought we'd been busy working all week...
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Eerily quiet today, isn't it? The streets are quiet in ol' London Town, around the gutter where PixelHugger resides.
Where are you BeccaG? Are you still playing Zwok? Reg, Dr.Poppyjuice, SillyBoy, Taz - are you asleep following a Wombat Holiday Shandy-fest?
It's time you woke up dear children, to the melodic sound of Overkill: Apache. It's got guns, tanks, planes, missiles and the odd goat for good measure.
LET'S ROCK!
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Myself, Reg, & Taz, were having a game of low gravity golf the other day (it's only a 2 hole course, but each one is about 14 miles long) and Taz accidentally stepped on a Strange creature.
We took the poor thing home and nursed it back to health on digestive biscuits and brandy - even the Wombat helped out by donating a pair of it's old Y-fronts to wrap the poor blighter up in (though they did cause a bit of a rash).
Once it was well again it took us back to it's home on the foothills of Mons Olympus and introduced us to it's family. Frankly I had a migraine after 5 minutes of their company - but you've got to be polite eh?
Anyway BeccaG had her James BondTM branded Spy Watch on, so we've got some covert film of the little Thingamagoops in action.
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I have an awful and shameful admission to make, I am a dirty hopeless addict and it's all PixelHugger fault. I have been playing ZWOK (as featured last Friday) all week.
In an effort to cure me, Badger Mushroom and Reg have come up with a rehabilitation scheme for me, which involves cold turkey, tidying their sock draws and finding a game for today.
I really wasn't spoilt for much choice and to be brutally honest compared to ZWOK everything else is quite frankly...pants.
Anyway, here is Bounty Decathlon, so get out those marigolds and cleaning cloths.
On your marks, get set, scrub.
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Let's face it, the world's a bit knackered beyond repair. It seems a bit pointless to keep it now, what with all the pollution, wars and nasty people who keep making it all worse. So why not make it into a positive and have a go at nuking it from orbit... it's the only way to be sure.
Destroy the World, and gain respect from some bug eyed green alien dudes.
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A great man once said to me:
"Thank fuck it's Friday! Here, have 2 pints of gold top and a carton of orange juice."
Yes he was a great man, my old milkman. The new one is a twat, which only goes to prove the old saying: It's better to have an old milkman than a clapped out Ford Cortina. I think we can all take something from that advice.
Just out of interest, is this the shittiest golf game on the web? Come on Teagames, you're better than this.
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Close Encounters of a Musical Kind
Igor Stravinsky was very happy with his closing music for the ballet "The Firebird" but when it was pointed out by his friends in the pub that John Williams had used almost the same thematic structure in the music for the closing scene of "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" he decided to use a radical new musical form which lead to such masterpieces as "Petrouschka" and "The Rte of Spring"
Unreliable Facts from The Brains Trust |
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A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
- Tommy Cooper |
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DeathGob
