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"Come on," said Badger Mushroom "Let's get Tanked up"
So I got all my little tanks out of the toy box and set them up ready to play.
Then Badger Mushroom looked at me and the track I'd set up, and then headed out the front door of Funjunkie Towers.
I expect he's gone to get his camouflage dungarees out of SillyBoy's wendy house.
I'll just wait patiently till he comes back.
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Barely lunchtime, and you lucky dogs are already swimming* in a lagoon** of qwality games, you lucky things you.
Try this on for size, it's a simple stickman runny shooty effort but it's not as simple as you might first think.
You have to use two hands and everything. It's certainly thrown Reg for six, he's had to go and sit down in the cellar of Funjunkie Towers where the wombat's gently feeding him weak lemon squash.
Poor little flower***.
*Or paddling perhaps
**Or puddle perhaps
***Or ghaylord perhaps
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Friday.....what to say......well I'd rather be out skinning my knees on my BMX.
Do you remember BMX Bandits? Ace it was (watch out for Nicole Kidman's amazingly out of control hair - and the bit where they go down the water slides.......Whhhhheeeeeeee!)
Anyway relive your childhood, without the dnager of concussion or a snapped collarbone on the rather good
BMX Freestyle.
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As you are no doubt aware, your average Funjunkie editor is not unused to a bit of publicity. Fans have been known to stalk one or two of us, the TV and Radio channels can't leave us alone, and we're constantly being harrassed by photographers. In fact just last week Dr.Poppyjuice and SillyBoy were had the full works from an official photographer, although they had to go to the police station and hold up some bits card for the shoot.
It's a drag being so famous, but we all know that everybody is entitled to their 15 minutes. So just to make you all feel a little more comfortable in our presence, we though you might like to know exactly how close to us you are in the Global Fame List.
Thanks to Johnny X for helping us out with that one.
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If you're the sort of person who thrives in a working environment, running business meetings with big shots from high powered multinational corporations. A person who never stops for lunch, never goes home in time for dinner, and above all things, never ever slacks off for a few minutes to play a couple of games online... well what the fuck are you doing here?
Right, that over with, let's get onto some seriously addictive Funjunkie Friday Games. In fact, skip the plural and make it singular, because there's no way you're going to be playing anything other than Chaos Faction today. It's THAT damned addictive, you'll be in rehab before the day is finished.
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There’s no hiding the fact that you’re always looking for outlets for your creative urges – I’ve seen your overflowing box of crayons. Well now you can put them to good use. The chaps over at The Weekender radio show need your help with their Come Together campaign. All you have to do is download the template and draw a picture of yourself within the guidelines.
Make sure you get some adult supervision. We all know what happened last time you were let loose on your own. Yeah, the cat was shitting a mixture of ‘woodland green’ & fuschia for weeks. You sick bastard.
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Thought I'd continue the eggy theme and give you not one, not two, but three whole games for you to play! It's the long-awaited return of EggRun, in three flavours, each with their own courses and high score charts for me to fail miserably on.
You can now play on grass, on ice or in space. Click to drag, leap about, grab the twig and head for the ladder.
Dead simple, slightly annoying and possibly quite addictive. I reckon this might be BeccaG's cuppa tea...
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Yes, I know it isn't Friday yet, but I won't be here to do the honours on the actual day and thought I'd better stick something up now to make up for my absence for the next 2 weeks.
In this game you get to be a lady and jump on blokes heads, how FAB is that?
It's an easy peasy platform game - Fly Girrl.
Enjoy the game until someone else sticks something up on Friday and think of me whilst I'm sunning myself in the Algarves and you're all at work in drizzly England or wherever.
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You've probably seen the video, and now you want to play Yellow Car Punch yourself. But hold your horses just a sec, have you read all the rules and regulations yet? No, I thought not.
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OK, so there are only Apples in my little outpost on the darker side of the planet, and that means I can't share images with you ... but this EggWay game is really something else... and the graphics are so poor they're not worth sharing.
Instruction for those not of a Japanese persuasion: Draw pencil lines to get the egg in the pan. Hit space bar to restart. There are lives, and no scores- just keep playing until you complete the set.
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It all seems to be videos these days, doesn't it? The Deathgob lot are playing yellow car punch, and our friends across the pond are enjoying the latest in aerial asphyxiation techniques.
What do you mean "What do you mean?"? Watch this and I dare you not to laugh. It's made even worse by the fact Janice (left) is in hysterics at our little friends dilemma.
"Janice, I'm falling.... Janice I'm stuck!"
Bow down and worship forum regular Fat Merecat for this gem
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A long long time ago, before most of you were even born, there was a guy called Bowner here at FJ Towers. Well, he’s still alive and well. Not that you cared. But here he is, losing a game of yellow car punch.
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Oooh, you are bunch of lucky monkeys today aren't you......4 games to help you slack the afternoon away, which means that 4 of us have actually done something of note this week, so kudos all round.
Anyway, before I go off to re-stitch the gusset in Reg's leotard*, I shall leave you with this little gem that is quite possibly marketed at the male market.
Thong Shot, just don't get too distracted and make note that it is possibly NSFW, unless you work with a bunch of testosterone fuelled men.
*He keeps bursting it with all the split-kicks for his trampoline routine.
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As cold as it may have been back there in the UK recently, I doubt conditions got good enough for a bit of snowboarding. It's a shame really. Snowboarding is ace... you can do all sorts of things like... er, fall over a lot and get a sore arse.
Dr.Poppyjuice has been complaining of a sore arse recently, but he's not been snowboarding either, so we're all a bit suspicious about that one.
I digress.
So the winter sports might be out for the next couple of months, but if you can cope with the smell, you can always try Sewer Boarding.
GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING: This game is far too addictive for anyone under the age of 93.
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We've been having some structural issues here at Funjunkie Towers, two weeks ago Reg locked himself in his room and hasn't come out since.
We're not quite sure what's going on but it sounds like he's got into some heavy trampoline training, presumably for the 2012 Olympics*
Anyway, all the spring loaded action has worked loose the brickwork under his window and it needs urgent repair.
Unfortunately Taz and Badger Mushroom crashed the spacebus on the way up from Wickes cause it was too loaded up with bricks and cement, and we let BeccaG calculate the gravitational adjustments necessary to land safely**
We had an editorial meeting and decided that the way to avoid a repeat performance is to get you guys to run some simple Monkey gravitation experiments on Earth and feed the data back to Funjunkie Towers.
If you wouldn't mind getting a hurry on, if Reg's wall caves in we'll see him in his leotard, and no-one's ready for that.
*They're allowing a mens floor gymnastics entry from Mars for the first time.
**On the night of her birthday which explains a lot.
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Sunday mornings; the car park of your local Somerfield; slightly odd looking blokes in parkas, with packed lunches it can only mean one thing........Radio Controlled Cars - Hell Yeah!
Radio Control Time Trial
So come along, build your own car, race around the garden, and post your scores. You know it makes sense - it is friday after all!
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Not content with giving you bovine music videos, I have another farmyard animal related tit-bit to force upon you all.
Yes, we're talking about the mighty pig today. This game is so pigging easy it makes me oink.
Have click and see for yourself, play Pig On A Rocket.
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Horse chestnut
Conkers from the Horse Chestnut "aesculus hippocastanum" will only germinate if they have passed through the intestines of a horse.
Unreliable Facts from The Brains Trust |
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A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge."
- Tommy Cooper |
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DeathGob
